Classless Blind Dickwad

When you steal someone’s umbrella from a bar’s coat rack during a storm, you’re showing how utterly classless you are.

When you steal someone’s umbrella from a bar’s coat rack at a private party where you’ve most likely spoken to and possibly even know the owner of the umbrella, you are an utterly classless dickwad.

When you steal MY umbrella from a bar’s coat rack at a private party where you’ve most likely spoken to ME and possibly even know ME, the owner of the mother fucking umbrella, you are an utterly classless dickwad and I hope you poked your eyes out when opening said umbrella.

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